So I won't let it slip away"
Life by Devin Townsend
Those lyrics helped me through a troubled part of my life - my divorce in 2008. I won't go into details about it but suffice it to say, it didn't end well and both of us were pretty bitter. Along the way I had become confused and felt like I lost my sense of identity.
I also became really bored with work and being stuck in a cube for 40 hours a week (I know, woe is me, 1st world problems but tough, this is my blog :) ). The thought of doing it for another 30 years didn't really sound too appealing. And I knew alcohol would only help so much :) I just can't see myself working at a desk for the next 30 years and being happy or fulfilled by that. The routine of work, eat, sleep, Monday thru Friday has drained me and I've come to that point where I need to make a change. Who knows what could happen tomorrow. I've always hated that feeling of working for the weekend or for that big upcoming vacation. To me that says that I'm not enjoying life right now at this moment. I'm not saying to spend money recklessly and just be impulsive. I've been careful with my money and still have a financial plan. But at this point in my life, I need change and some new perspective.
And the catalyst for that change was a documentary.
Soon after my ex and I separated, and I moved into an apartment, I saw an episode of True Life on MTV about a guy backpacking across the world. He quit his professional job and hit the road. I found out it was based on a documentary called A Map For Saturday. I quickly bought the DVD. After watching it, I knew I wanted to do the same. Something completely different from my routine life. See new places, meet new people from different cultures, eat new food, drink new beer (I love beer!), and be totally out of my element.
I've always enjoyed changed. My close friends know me well enough that I tend to get bored easily and am fickle. The jobs I've had, the girls I've dated, my musical tastes...it all constantly shifts. I just never feel content. And I've definitely felt the itch to physically move. I've lived in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area for 10 years now. The longest I've been in one place ever. I love my family and friends very much but I can feel the road calling me. I need a new scene to adapt to. I blame it all on my background :) growing up as a military brat and moving every 3-4 years.
This infinity symbol pretty much sums it up for me. Change is constant. My time is all that I own. Also my first tattoo!
To get a little philosophical and hippie....why are we here? What's the purpose of life? I can't answer that for anyone else but for me, it's always come down to experience, learning and understanding. One of my favorite books, Siddhartha by Herman Hesse, really capture this way of thinking. Through different experiences (good and bad) we gain understanding and truth.
And I've realized I've become stagnant in that aspect of my life. The routine of a career has limited my overall growth and understanding of life. I remember in college looking forward to a new semester with different classes and learning new subjects. College life was all geared towards learning new things - educationally and socially. Working in an office is the opposite of that. Same technical skills over and over. It's the same at every company. Different business and people but the process and skills are the same. No real new knowledge is learned. And I know I could always learn things on my own outside of work which I did. But the environment of working in an office isn't very conducive to learning new things. The two don't really mesh. So that's another reason why I need a change. To let my mind reset and remember how much fun it is to learn truly new things.
This article sums it up pretty well:
http://www.paulgraham.com/boss.html
And these are pretty good too (Paul Graham writes a lot):
http://www.paulgraham.com/love.html
http://paulgraham.com/hiring.html
What am I going to do after traveling and seeing the world? I have no effin' clue. And I'm okay with that. For the most part. Yeah, I'm a little nervous and scared but that's expected. It comes down to this...is it more scary to know that I'll continue to work a boring 9-5 job that I find no joy in for the next 30 years and be relatively unhappy versus traveling for an extended time (maybe a year) where I can have time to reflect and figure out where I want to go next in my life. Yeah it's more complicated than that....family, friends, love, etc all muddy up things. But a year in the grand scheme of things is pretty small.
I'm also looking forward to the challenge of traveling. Meeting new people, trying to get around a city where English is hardly spoken, traveling a country via bus or train (I hear India can be a nightmare), using a squat toilet for the first time and doing some hiking (Everest region). I wouldn't say I'm into extreme things but I do love adventures and trying new things.
If I had to give a short answer as to why I'm traveling:
Experience. Challenge. Education. And why not?
I'm also looking forward to the challenge of traveling. Meeting new people, trying to get around a city where English is hardly spoken, traveling a country via bus or train (I hear India can be a nightmare), using a squat toilet for the first time and doing some hiking (Everest region). I wouldn't say I'm into extreme things but I do love adventures and trying new things.
If I had to give a short answer as to why I'm traveling:
Experience. Challenge. Education. And why not?
I am sure that you will find exactly what you are looking for: your true self. We'll be keeping up with your travels and we'll wish you well. I am sorry that I will miss your party because I won't be back from PR until the 1/10/13. HOWEVER, before you and I leave, how about some lunch and BEERS?
ReplyDeleteBeers? I'm always good for beers!
DeleteI'm so excited for you Gabe! I think you will have wonderful adventures- just make sure you come home in one piece! :) and please continue to blog, I've enjoyed reading, so far. I'll let you know if you start to get boring. :)
ReplyDelete